Author: Janae

  • Children Need Your Character, Not Your Image

    Children Need Your Character, Not Your Image

    In all of my years as a therapist, co-parent specialist, and mediator, the most heart breaking moments for me have been when children have said things like: >>Why does my dad brag about me in public, but tear me down at home? >>My mom said she can’t lose custody of me because what would people…

  • Narcissists in the Courtroom

    Narcissists in the Courtroom

    Listen to this episode of Co-Parent Dilemmas as Judge Warren Davis shares his insights about dealing with difficult co-parents in his courtroom. To listen on your favorite platform (Apple, Google, Spotify, etc.), visit https://pod.link/CPDilemmas or listen below:

  • Co-Parent Dilemmas Podcast

    Co-Parent Dilemmas Podcast

    I am pleased to announce that in addition to my monthly written blog post (that I have been doing for over a decade), I have partnered with Dr. Rick Voyles on a weekly podcast called Co-Parent Dilemmas. The show is listener driven and each week, we address questions from listeners about their difficult co-parent situations and…

  • THE MAGIC OF SUMMERTIME

    THE MAGIC OF SUMMERTIME

    Summer is here. I would like to challenge all co-parents this year to develop a new way of thinking about their children during this special time. We all have our own stories of the magic of summer during our childhoods. Some of you had great family vacations and family connections, and others had difficult families,…

  • The Tit for Tat Trap

    The Tit for Tat Trap

    For some reason, I have had many parents express lately that they are frustrated with how much their co-parent refuses to be civil, or flexible, or the least bit compassionate. That frustration is usually followed by a statement like, “I do everything I can to show [him/her] that I want to work together. I even…

  • FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF A “GOOD CO-PARENT”

    FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF A “GOOD CO-PARENT”

    The meaning of word “co-parent” is elusive enough, but when you qualify it with “good,” it’s nearly undefinable. I liken it to the polarization we are now experiencing in our current political environment. Is there anyone in the middle these days? That’s how it feels to work with co-parents in conflict. Their ideas of how…

  • THE POWER OF PREDICTABILITY

    THE POWER OF PREDICTABILITY

    I am busier now than ever before with new clients seeking help with anxiety issues due to unpredictability. But there is a natural level of unpredictability with co-parents in conflict that adds an additional layer of stress to these families. In our Advanced workshop for high-conflict parents, we try to teach participants how to maintain…

  • Three Invaluable Co-Parent Phrases

    Three Invaluable Co-Parent Phrases

    One of the most common mistakes co-parents in conflict make is using their communication with one another to document and build a case for the future. For example, “Dear John, you obviously don’t care about the children because you refused to switch weekends with me.” Or, “Dear Jane, I noticed that you did not attend…

  • DISTORTED THINKING DURING COVID

    DISTORTED THINKING DURING COVID

    Now, more than ever in our history, there is a great need for everyone to view circumstances through a complex lens and provide grace to one another by giving the benefit of the doubt, rather than rush to judgment. Unfortunately, our social context and media culture is not promoting this attitude. As a result, I…

  • Why can’t he just be normal?

    Why can’t he just be normal?

    I recently had a mom walk into my office and she plopped down on my couch and began sobbing. When she was able to talk, she kept repeating, “Why, why, why, why?” I finally got her calmed down and asked her to tell me what was going on. Her response was not remarkable, shocking, or…