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Three Struggles with Two Homes
Kids with separated or divorced parents feel differently about their parents’ conflict than kids whose parents fight but stay together. For starters, kids of divorce know full well the destruction that conflict causes in their family (after all, it destroyed their parents’ marriage), so they tend to be hypersensitive to divorce conflict and worry and…
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Boundaries
It is said that some kids never grow up, yet the flip side of that is many grow up too soon. Those who live with high-conflict co-parents often experience the worst of both scenarios. Too often, one parent is overly indulgent, trying to buy the love of the child, while the other is so insecure…
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Diane Dierks talks about Co-Parent Tips – Atlanta Divorce Team Radio Broadcast 4/22/17
If you would like to listen to the full radio broadcast, play the audio link below. For individual topics discussed throughout the broadcast, play the subsequent audio links. Full broadcast: Listen on SoundCloud here Introduction Info about CNFC seminars and workshops Why do some co-parents need help from a counselor? What is the difference between Parenting Coordination and Co-Parent…
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Opinions
Opinions. They abound in co-parent relationships, but are often a huge cause of conflict. Although you have a right to share your opinions about your child’s welfare (and only about your child’s welfare), it’s best to ask yourself WHAT you hope to achieve by sharing an opinion. If you just want to be right or…
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Focus on Feelings, not Just Facts
Answering children’s questions about what is happening with their parents’ separation or divorce can be tricky. “Where am I going to live after the divorce?” is a valid question, but a parent is often tempted to give only a factual response. If parents address the facts without addressing the feelings, they are likely to miss…
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What Kids Don’t Know Can’t Hurt Them
Many co-parents underestimate the impact conflict has on their children. I have had kids tell me they think their parents would be happier if they (the children) didn’t exist. That makes sense when you think about it from a child’s point of view. All of the fighting seems to revolve around the fact that children…
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Beware of Coping Skills You are Teaching
Co-parents often fail to see that there are direct correlations between putting their children in the middle of the conflict and teaching them dysfunctional relationship skills. Here’s just one to think about: Asking a child to deliver a message to the other parent. Kids learn quickly that they are being asked to deliver a message…
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Treatment for Parental Alienation is Complicated
Most divorcing parents tend to alienate somewhat at a low level due to the high emotions involved in a divorce or custody dispute and because of the natural conflict that arises when two parents are separating. This is termed “naïve” alienation, which means they often are not aware they are engaging in harmful behavior and…
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One (Healthy) Parent Can Make a Difference
Thirty years ago, researchers were telling us that the top two factors that determined how kids fared after divorce were economics and parental conflict. Here we are into the less-stigmatized 2000s, and the top two reasons that surface in the research still today are economics and conflict. Why have we not gotten better at this?…
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REMEMBER: When two people are married to one another…
[cmsms_row data_padding_bottom=”50″ data_padding_top=”0″ data_overlay_opacity=”50″ data_color_overlay=”#000000″ data_bg_parallax_ratio=”0.5″ data_bg_size=”cover” data_bg_attachment=”scroll” data_bg_repeat=”no-repeat” data_bg_position=”top center” data_bg_color=”#ffffff” data_color=”default” data_padding_right=”3″ data_padding_left=”3″ data_width=”boxed”][cmsms_column data_width=”1/1″][cmsms_text animation_delay=”0″]REMEMBER: When two people are married to one another, there is presumably emotional (and financial) accountability. Each partner has personal leverage with the other if the desire is to keep the relationship in tact. But once that marital…
