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SHOULD YOU TAKE YOUR CO-PARENT CONFLICT TO COURT? MAYBE NOT.
Family courts are designed to settle legal matters concerning families when the families can’t settle them on their own. Settling is an interesting word. It does not mean in a way that satisfies everyone, nor does it mean fairness. I’ve been doing this work for decades, and I’ve never talked to a parent who took…
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The Tit for Tat Trap
For some reason, I have had many parents express lately that they are frustrated with how much their co-parent refuses to be civil, or flexible, or the least bit compassionate. That frustration is usually followed by a statement like, “I do everything I can to show [him/her] that I want to work together. I even…
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Three Invaluable Co-Parent Phrases
One of the most common mistakes co-parents in conflict make is using their communication with one another to document and build a case for the future. For example, “Dear John, you obviously don’t care about the children because you refused to switch weekends with me.” Or, “Dear Jane, I noticed that you did not attend…
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Nana: I Was Just Trying to Help
(To protect confidentiality, names and details have been modified.) I first met Becky, a 62-year-old grandmother, after spending a few sessions with her grandchildren, ages 8 and 10. She was a sweet southern woman who clearly loved her family and wasn’t sure why I wanted to see her. I asked her to come in for…
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John & Charlotte: Why Can’t We Just Be Friends?
John and Charlotte came to see me voluntarily because they both realized that their conflict was out of control and hurting their three children. Unlike many co-parents who are ordered to see us, they actually wanted things to change, so they were motivated. After I had an individual session with each of them, I had a good…
