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SHOULD YOU TAKE YOUR CO-PARENT CONFLICT TO COURT? MAYBE NOT.
Family courts are designed to settle legal matters concerning families when the families can’t settle them on their own. Settling is an interesting word. It does not mean in a way that satisfies everyone, nor does it mean fairness. I’ve been doing this work for decades, and I’ve never talked to a parent who took…
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Learning the Long Game
Parenting is hard. Co-parenting is harder. Either way, it’s not about absolutes and is definitely not black and white. It’s about a series of choices along a sometimes lonely road. Do I stop here and rest or do I act swiftly? Which action benefits my child in the present versus what impacts her future? How…
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Co-Parent Tip of the Month: Kids Want to Matter
I witnessed an amazing transformation recently in my practice that made me think how simply kids see their parents. I also viewed a short film called Talk to Strangers (https://childcustodyfilm.com/custody-film/) that reinforced a lot of what I had just experienced. In the final scene of the film, you see the children walking away from the…
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Olivia’s Story: You Had Me at Hello
(To protect confidentiality, names and details have been modified) She was conceived on a one-night-stand and her parents never married — not a great love story for the child to remember. Nevertheless, Olivia had adjusted to a 50/50 custody schedule with her parents by the time she was two. I first met her when she…
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Asking the Right Questions
One of the biggest parenting mistakes you can make is in how you respond to your child’s questions or statements about divorce or your co-parent. Too often, parents engage in defensive or factual answers that don’t get at what the child really cares about. Here are a few examples: “Mom said that if you…
