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Cut It Out! Radical Resistance in Family Litigation
For the last three decades, I have worked in the field of high-conflict divorce, mostly as a therapist and parenting coordinator, and often as an advocate. I calculated once that I had been in front of more than 50,000 parents when I taught the court-ordered divorcing parents seminar for 18 years. I have mediated over…
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UNPACKING PARENTAL ALIENATION WITH CHILDREN IN MIND
The feelings of children needing to split their loyalties with their parents may begin during the parents’ relationship or marriage.
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Nana: I Was Just Trying to Help
(To protect confidentiality, names and details have been modified.) I first met Becky, a 62-year-old grandmother, after spending a few sessions with her grandchildren, ages 8 and 10. She was a sweet southern woman who clearly loved her family and wasn’t sure why I wanted to see her. I asked her to come in for…
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Daniel: But I Hate Cucumbers!
(To protect confidentiality, names and details have been modified) When I met Daniel, he was 11-years-old and somewhat frail and emotionally young for his age. He was terrified to be in the same room with his dad. It was my job as a reunification therapist to help him and his father reconnect. They hadn’t seen…
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The Truth about Parental Alienation
The phrase parental alienation has become somewhat ubiquitous in custody cases these days, reminiscent of the path ADHD and bipolar disorder took years ago when they became the disorders du jour and popularized by our culture and media. Unfortunately, when that happens, the terms become watered down and eventually dismissed as overused and exaggerated, leaving…
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Hate is a Learned Emotion
Kids who are neglected, abandoned, or abused by a parent have an array of emotions that they struggle with, including sadness, anger, disappointment, distrust, etc. But not hate. Hatred is a learned emotion, not a reactive one. Most kids who have strong feelings about how a parent has treated them will say that although they…
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Monitoring Parent/Child Phone Calls
A subject that comes up in many of my cases has to do with one parent requiring a child to put the phone on speaker mode when talking to their other parent. I can’t think of a more obvious way to put your child literally in the middle of the co-parent conflict. I have a…
